Current Activities

Currently Playing:
Final Fantasy XIII

Currently Reading:
Naomi Klein- The Shock Doctrine

Currently Watching:
House MD
Caprica (On Hiatus :@)

Twitter Updates

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

On overwhelmed by gaming

As of late I have picked up a game for every system I owned that I seek time to play... it is generally terrible for my school work!

Playstation - Final Fantasy 7 (Feel like replaying it again)
PSP - Final Fantasy Tactics (Kyle gave it to me as a joke, I think I am willing to give tactical RPGs a shot again)
Ninendo DS - Rhapsody/ Pokemon Platinum (Pokemon consumes most of my time)
Xbox - Resident Evil 5

I may even end up buying No more Heroes finally for the Wii...

But yeah.... working full time and going to school full time really does suck sometimes. Honestly though, I mostly have Kelly to blame! With the exceptions of Sundays and Tuesdays, if there is free time to be had, it is to be spent with her!
That isn't terrible though, that isn't bad at all. This is the first relationship that I can honestly say that 100% of the time there isn't something I would rather be doing than hanging out with her. It's great, the feelings I find myself being overcome by.

The feelings I have for her leave me realizing that she is one of the few friends I have now, that 30 years down the road better still be in my life. Ben and Decker are probably the only two other friends I feel that strongly about, friends that have been in my life for a very long time... people that have been there for me for as long as I can remember.

Not that I don't love all of my friends, just the feelings I have for them are something unique.


They are the individuals I trust heart and soul, no questions asked. If hypothetically one of them told me that ejecting myself into space out of a space shuttle was the only way I was going to survive, even if it was a terrible idea at the time... I would probably do it.

Although Decker has a habit of saying red lights are green...

I suppose I can't emphasize enough my inability to trust people completely, as a result of my belief that trust leads to manipulation.

I can't emphasize how difficult it is to demonstrate and convey my feelings for my friends and family.

I know I love my friends, I know my love for Ben and Dan is equal to that of my immediate family.

I also know that love doesn't begin to describe what I feel for Kelly.

Gawd Pokemon is so nostalgic

A Travy smitten with love!

I was sick of restrictions sick of the boundaries about to close the door
Such a lack of conviction no real connection what should I settle for
But you caught my attention you built on the tension and you left me wanting more
Now I don't know what to do with myself do with myself
I don't want nobody else

I let you in I let you in and you infected me Can' t get enough of you
I breathed you in and now I'm in too deep
Don't think I'm pulling through
Can't get enough of you

You're so contagious Running through my veins
you're so contagious Holding onto every word You're so contagious
And I can't get away
You're so contagious and now I know for sure there is no cure

I saw your intentions i gave you permission Go ahead and start the war
I was out of addictions by my own admission oh I've been keeping score
But you made an exception you taught me a lesson
Who cares where I've been before
You would never leave me all by myself you don't want nobody else

I am burning in your fire
I have only one desire
i can not deny her

Now I don't know what to do with myself I don't want nobody else

You keep running through my veins

Thursday, March 19, 2009

On poetry

First and foremost, a poem I threw together:

Symbolizing Love, Beauty, and Perfection
Even more perfect when one discovers the imperfections in your cut.
Perfectly imperfect.
Words cannot truly capture the ideals you represent.

Two Diamonds
Identical in their imperfections, a statistical improbability.
A mold crafted to encompass the pair in warm flowing gold.
A perfect pair of earrings.
One isn't complete without the other.

But the Pair isn't together
I seek you out and I steal you away
It isn't a crime, it's a necessity
to attain perfection.

Of course one word in there isn't actually a word... but it's all good

I finally beat Chrono Trigger the other day. Generally it was an all right game, but I didn't really get into it until the very end. I guess my issues were
  • The storyline
  • The final boss
  • I really didn't get into the combat system until the endgame
Maybe it was just too simple, I don't know, it seemed like the first half of the game was melee + healzor on occasion, and the second half was unleash super abilities of win with megalixers ftw. Even in fights that apparently had a strategy to them I was supposed to do... I just muscled my way through. With the exception of the last boss of course, which was still just me unloading my end game abilities once one guy was out of the way until death.

But regardless I started Rhapsody for the DS, and Resident Evil 5 for the 360 the other day.

Resident Evil 5 so far is exactly what I was hoping for, it truly is a game where you "run for your fucking life for hours until you die." Of course that idea kind of fell on death ears for the first level where I tried to muscle my way through the executioner dude... only to find out I could actually run away from him and just fight the masses on the roof. It's a good time.

Rhapsody really is a musical video game, with periods in the storyline where the cutscene is actually the characters singing... and you kill people with fricken pancakes, it's lush. I'm glad it's following like a turn based battle system, I was told originally it was a tactical RPG, which I just can't stand.

But Rhapsody might be taking a brief break as the new Pokemon game is coming out.

Gawd, I think I will always be a Pokemon junkie.

A content Travy


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

On Holy Shenanigans

Man, I didn't realize Pokemon Platinum was coming out! Going to have to get myself a copy... and the free Regigas from Toy's R Us... Oh well... have to make another post later. But for now, cookies and poetry!

A poetic Travy

The betrayal you see coming is trivial. What is truly fearsome is the betrayal you don't see.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Seeing arch-enemy

I'm looking for someone in the Binghamton Area
I've been trying to think of ways to spice up my life. I'm 21 years old, and my life is fantastic. But somethings missing. I feel like I'm old before my time. I need to inject some excitement into my daily routine through my arm before its too late. I need a challenge, something to get the adrenaline pumping again. An addiction would be nice, but, in short, I need a nemesis. Nothing crazy. Steal my parking space, knock my coffee over, trip me when Im running to catch the bus and occasionally whisper in my ear, "Ahha, we meet again". That kind of thing. Just keep me on my toes. Complacency will be the death of me. You need to have an evil streak and be blessed with innate guile and cunning. You should also be adept at inconspicuous pursuit. Evil laugh preferred. Send me a photo and a brief explanation why you would be a good nemesis.

British accent preferred.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

On Hallucinations

The other day I ended up getting terribly sick. It's unfortunate, I'm not a normal person who gets sick when the weather is terrible out, I get sick when it's nice. Regardless, it ended with me missing 2 days of work and a day of classes. The advantage to my getting sick was that it sent me on a delusional spree of creating some fever induced mathematical system that didn't make sense, and only confused me greater.
Okay, that wasn't the real advantage, the real advantage was that whenever I was conscious Kelly was around. Generally speaking I would pass out when she wasn't here, and wake up to her being here. It was excellent.
Still, in my state of mind I was afraid I was going to die as a result of my brain melting from the fever...
I fear death.
I am sure I have said that before.
If there is one fear I have above all other fears it is that of death. It isn't because I am a god fearing person I fear death either, I am fairly confident that if there comes a time for me to be judged God will see that I am a wonderful individual. Or at least, in my mindset he should. The only issue is I refuse to follow organized religion. Most religions deem that I should burn in hell or something along those lines as a result of that refusal, which is something I would rather not do. Still, while the morals organized religion teach are generally fine and dandy, the war religion breeds isn't.
I'm a firm believer that God generally doesn't want us waging war in his name. The crusades, 9/11, those are all no-nos in my eyes. I don't think that the god our respective religious books teach us about would approve of such actions. If he does, I'm not confident I would want him as my god anyways.
Still there is always the idea in the back of my mind that I may be making those reasons up to use as excuses to endorse my own sloth. After all, I am not the kind of guy who wants to get up every Sunday morning to go to church.

Of course, I lie when I say I would prefer not to burn in hell. While generally speaking if I was given the option of not burning in hell for eternity or burning in hell for eternity I would obviously pick the later, there are situations where I would pick burning in hell.

Being aware

I want to be aware forever, for all eternity. As I said... I fear death, and I fear that death because in my mind that means I become unaware, non-existent and unaware. Honestly, if I was given the choice between suffering agony for all eternity and being aware; or being peacefully non-existant forever I would pick the burning agony.

Or at least I used to think that...

Now there is a third option I look to, that generally keeps my mind off those options. If I could spend the rest of my life aware and with Kelly, I would be happy with the non-existance at the end.

My life feels complete with her around. Our personalities, our thoughts, our feelings; they aren't all identicle, but they all complement each other perfectly. If ever I could be inspired to write a poem or a song about something, it would be about my feelings concerning her. And even then, I wouldn't be able to do it because I just can't shape words around how I feel for her.
My relationships of the past all arguably had their ups and their downs.
I've had my good and bad life experinces.
But nothing, nothing I have ever felt concerning anything has ever once touched the level of feelings I have for her.

Everything I want in a girl, everything I have wanted for so long.

The person I have wanted to be with for so long

It's finally all there.

A happy Travy

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark