On remember remember the 11th of February

Tomorrow is the 11th of February... how nostalgic. Every year that goes by it means a little less to me thankfully, and yet when February rolls around I can't help but think of it. And while generally I would be the one to form the resolve to bring it up, this year it wasn't me... not entirely, I may have over looked or forgotten it this year thanks to some more recent turns in the tides of my life... but I guess it just can't be helped. Eventually it will all subside and everyone will move on with their lives, but that isn't this year apparently.

BU... I sent in an application for it today, hopefully I get in. As much as I am enjoying BCC this semester, I really don't want to go there. It's not my idea of college, it seems so much like a watered down version of high school minus the drama. And while I enjoy my professors its kind of lonely not having anyone in my classes I really know, not that BU would be better in that respect but at least I would be proud to be going to BU. Still I generally doubt I will get into BU. I have my high school grades and a semester of BCC to send to them with my application. It's all a very mehish kind of thing, and probably a waste of my 40 dollars. But at least I am trying, and who knows, maybe my self doubt in other aspects of my life are carrying over to my self doubt in applying to BU and I will get accepted. Would be awesome. Things to do Thursday: Get my transcripts sent over.

I also got a free Blackberry Pearl today. Of course I had to renew my contract with Verizon and tack an extra 30 dollars a month on for the whole Blackberry experience, but it's worth it. I've wanted one for a while now, and from what I have heard from some Blackberry Storm owners the Pearl was better anyways. If nothing else it's an upgrade to what I have now, and should be fun to fandangle with.

I should have my new car on the road this weekend, adding to my list of things to do Thursday includes going down to my car insurance agency and getting the new insurance cards for it. I think eventually I will fix up the tad of paint that came off and get myself some Autobot Decals for it. Should be a good time

Wow this entry seems so uncoordinated... guess it's kind of like my mind right now

Life is cheesecakey

A mehish Travy


Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold

On hindsight

Tomorrow marks my first day of the spring semester. I am sort of looking forward to it, and sort of not looking forward to it. On the plus side I have my Art and English courses tomorrow... but on the minus side I am really not expecting too much out of them, if they turn up anything like my courses from last semester. Still, it is kind of nostalgic... I suppose the idea of tomorrow kind of triggers high school memories. I mean, I will be there all day so I will need to pack a lunch, and it's an art course. Hopefully I can listen to my IPod and the wallflowers.
In hindsight, if I could go back to high school I would do a few things differently, one of which would definitely be putting effort into my grades so that I didn't find myself going to BCC now. I would have defiantly like to have gone to a better school where I might feel like I am actually learning. Unfortunately procrastination and lazy sauce got the best of me... so here I am. It can't be helped, hindsight is balls.

Similarly drinking while depressed is not a nicer dicer idea, and in hindsight is another thing I would have avoided the other evening. Spilling my heart, and a good portion of stupidity onto Kelly wasn't the best of ideas, but at least I am pretty positive at this point she knows most of my feelings concerning her. Since that point a few people have told me I've left the ball in her court. But the truth is, it's been there all along. And at least I didn't mess everything up.

I really want to get myself a copy of Guitar Hero world tour... if for no reason other than to get good at the drums. I can do vocals, play the guitar on hard/expert, and play bass on expert. But I feel like such an ass for making people watch me fumble through a song on easy or medium whilst failing at the drums. If I got a copy of the game myself, it's something I could fix on my own and feel like I'm not bringing other players down with me. I would also like to get up to expert on the guitar at some point, which probably requires a significantly larger amount of time invested then I have been.

I'm going to start playing Magic the gathering again, after all free time (minus homework) = Nicer Dicer and needs socializing!

A tired travy

(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter